Seize the Day
by Rhaplanca
Summary: Hizumi reflects; Ayumu wonders. The world is more than just darkness.


Title: Seize the Day

Fandom: Spiral – Suiri no Kizuna

Authoress: moerikyo / SuspendedSilverWing

Theme: 30; Shadow; Light

Pairing/characters: Ayumu Narumi; Hizumi x Ayumu

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I do not own Spiral, and it is now something I wish I DID own so that I could tweak it and stuff. And yes, I did just use "stuff".

Summary: Hizumi reflects; Ayumu wonders. The world is more than just darkness.

Author's Notes: Before I get yelled at, I just want to say—there is not intentional Kiyotaka bashing, even though that bastard should die a slow, painful death. Because…he's just an arse like that and I dun't liiiike him. D= However, after reading chapters 71 and 72, this came out.

--

Seize the Day

--

[(_Seize the day, or die regretting the time you lost; it's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over._)]

He didn't understand.

What was going on? Why was he crying? Why was his head spinning? What was happening? Why was his hand stretched out? Why was he sweating?

Just; why?

Hizumi's labored breath could be heard in the next room over, and Ayumu woke up wondering what all of the ruckus was all about, and how one person could breath and _cry_ so loud, and GOD why was he crying in the first place? Thinking nothing more of it, the brunette turned on his side in his bed and brought his pillow up to the side of his face, tucking one arm under it, perfectly content on his idea of going back to sleep.

Digging his face into the white fabric, Ayumu sighed and closed his hazel eyes again, feeling his mind slipping back into its REM state.

However, that perfect state of sleep where he couldn't move was interrupted by the opening, or rather slamming, of his bedroom door and an additional body practically throwing itself into his bed. It pretty much collided with his own in such a violent way that it made him snap back to reality and twist to the other side to see what the _fuck_ just jumped into his bed without using any discretion what so ever.

A pair of small, graceful hands came up to his face and held it there, making him stare down at large, fear-filled golden eyes, shining to the brim with tears. Thin lips mouthed words, as if in an attempt to not scream out and call for him, and only then did he realize that the pale skinned, heart shaped face was seemingly soaked with dried tears (or tears on their way to being dried). In the pale moonlight, Ayumu could almost see the streaks. Lime strands were stuck to the poor boy's face, slick with the sweat from his "episode".

Ayumu regained his composure and reached up to grab the hands on his own face, catching the wrists and attempting to pull them down. However, that task proved difficult with the sudden show of strength the small frame next to his shown, keeping the small hands effectively where they were on his cheeks. They were trembling; he was afraid to let go.

And so the brunette gave up and let the wrists go in favor of moving to cover the golden eyes wavering from the new stream of tears that were flowing.

"Hizumi," he spoke in a calm, steady voice, "you have to calm down."

Finally, a soft, shaking, rich tenor that sounded like it had never had to yell came into the atmosphere, making Ayumu's core shake at the mere sound of sadness that resonated through it.

"B...but...n...nightmare..."

"Nightmares don't make you wake up in a cold sweat, Hizumi--Hizumi, you had a night TERROR. Not a night MARE. Can you remember it?" Ayumu asked.

Shaking his head, Hizumi lunged forward once more and cradled himself against the warm body next to his, clinging to it and not intending to let go. He just didn't want to sleep alone that night was all.

Ayumu sighed once more and nudged the boy to move, earning him a scared look from a sharp upturning of the petite teen next to him. He shook his head, "No--I won't make you leave, but I need to move the blankets so you can get under as well."

Hizumi let out a relieved sigh as he moved his body so that his other could move the navy blue blankets over his as well, immediately moving back to snuggle closer to the other's body. He was filled with something he decided was warmth and was content merely with that alone.

Seeing the look of relief that washed over Hizumi's face, Ayumu went back to sleeping; however, he was facing Hizumi while doing this, watching the other close his golden eyes. He waited until the boy slipped into a peaceful state of surrender before allowing himself to pass into his own blissful state, not really realizing that the other had reached for his hand, entwining their fingers beforehand as he fell back into REM.

--

[(_I see my vision burn and I feel my memories fade with time, but I'm too young to worry. The streets we've traveled on will undergo our same lost past._)]

"Hizumi, wake up--we have to go to school," a gentle voice called, not nearly threatening enough to bring the green-haired beauty out of his slumber just yet. Not even the alluring aroma of breakfast could get him away from another five minutes of rest.

And yet, when a warm hand reached out and cupped his cheek, Hizumi made no move to swat at it or even flinch. He had gone to bed filled with kindness and yet he once again felt showered with something much more warm than last night in a place where he had surrendered his mind and body. A place he could give up, and act like a child.

He felt a hand running through his hair and allowed his eyes to peek open, the light from the window consuming the space he was looking at, shining so brightly that Hizumi thought he would have to turn away from it. However, there was a particular weight on his back, restricting such a movement. And so he settled on closing his eyes, reopening merely to squint, allowing his eyes time to adjust to such a bright light. The hand on his head left him along with the weight, so he quickly turned to see what that weight was.

He was met with the ever so apathetic face of Ayumu Narumi, his roommate and last night's bed mate as well. His eyes widened and he immediately shot up from his spot, the navy of Ayumu's sheets cascading around his waist and legs in ripples, like a deep ocean's waves.

"Ayumu?" Hizumi questioned before blinking again and rubbing his eyes sheepishly. "What time is it?"

Ayumu merely smiled and turned away, walking over to the door and opening it casually, already dressed and ready to go. "It's time to get up. That's what time it is," he answered in such a way that it made Hizumi stop rubbing and glance over at his back.

He immediately pouted and flopped back down on the bed, twisting his body and facial expression in blatant disapproval. "I don't want to go!" He whined unhappily, turning away from Ayumu and jutting his lower lip out cutely, then proceeding to mumble something along the lines of "let me go back to sleep", and "let's just stay home".

The brunette halted his movements and glanced over his shoulder in mock annoyance. "Get up or you won't get to eat breakfast," he warned.

That had Hizumi scrambling to get out of bed and on the floor in less than three seconds, running passed Ayumu with a whoosh, down the hall, and into a chair at the table.

Ayumu blinked and managed to suppress a laugh, walking out of his room and closing the door behind him.

He casually walked down the hall, untying his apron and putting it on the back of one of the chairs as he walked passed the brown table into the kitchen area, deciding to look over everything before heading back to the table and sitting down. He looked at Hizumi, who was happily digging in to whatever he was eating, and shrugged casually while pulling his chop sticks apart and eating.

Hizumi paused mid chew to chance a glance up to Ayumu; he had his eyes closed, seemingly in thought as he chewed his food, brows brought together in concentration. The green-haired devil gained a sullen, albeit undetectable look on his face as he reached a hand up to brush a strand of mint green hair out of his face.

"I'm surprised." He stated suddenly.

The God swallowed his food and looked over at Hizumi once more, blinking. "About what?" He asked.

A smile crossed Hizumi's lips as he spoke, "Well, you haven't asked me about last night yet. I mean, your only attempt at getting to the source of the problem was telling me that I needed to calm down and that I only had a night terror. I'm just saying that I'm surprised you didn't say anything else on that subject."

During Hizumi's explanation, Ayumu brought his brows back together and closed his eyes. "Oh? And what if I was just waiting for the right time?"

In truth, he had originally swept the subject under the rug for a _much_ later date, but maybe he'd have to vacuum it out now that Hizumi had decided to say something about it. After all, he was a little bit curious as to what made his other half scream and break into a cold sweat.

Hizumi laughed a light, melodious tune before grinning wide spread. "You coulda' fooled me!" He joked light heartedly before resuming his consummation of the food before him.

Ayumu shrugged indifferently before he looked at his food and smirked slightly. "You were sleeping like a baby..."

A cough could be heard as Hizumi's entire body flushed in embarrassment and the food caught in his throat, transforming his cough into a violent hack. He swallowed quickly and attempted to glare at the other boy across from the table, only managing to pout. However, he stopped when he heard the content laughter ring through the air; it was something he rarely heard (and even doubted anyone else heard) from the brunette called Ayumu Narumi.

He was usually so apathetic and cold, never interested in talking with anyone, and preferring to stay in his own little world where he would be with himself.

So, it was surprising to hear such a _beautiful_ laugh from someone so withdrawn from the world around him.

Hizumi joined in with the laughter.

What was the point of fighting it and worrying?

He liked this person anyway.

--

[(_I found you here, now please just stay for a while. I can move on with you around. I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever? I'd do anything for a smile, holding you til' our time is done. We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you._)]

His blood rushed through his veins, wildfire spreading through out his body.

He wouldn't accept it; he just wouldn't.

What had he done to accept such a cruel, _cruel_ thing? He didn't want any part of it anymore...so why wasn't it going away like he wanted it to? Why wasn't the world crumbling beneath his feet like he wanted it to? He didn't understand such a concept, and it was bound to kill him one day; he just knew it.

However, as long as the warmth in the palm of his hand never faded, Hizumi would be fine.

As long as Ayumu was there with him for as long as he possibly could be, then he would be fine.

He was convinced of it, and made it his priority that day that day to show it. However, there were those people around them that were choosing to interfere with the little world he had chosen to create for just the two of them and no one else. He would have to do something about that; he would allow no one to come in the perfect world he was currently in; for he was as happy as he had ever been in a long, long time.

But that was only because Ayumu was there.

Anyone else would just not do.

"Hey, you're doing something dangerous again," a familiar, low tone voice said, bringing Hizumi back to reality as a finger prodded at his forehead.

Hizumi laughed and swatted at the hand. "Oh? And what am I doing that qualifies as dangerous, Ayumu?" He asked, genuinely curious as to what the other was talking about.

They were sitting in the room the journalism club was held in (the room Hiyono was usually in); it was just the two of them, and quite personally Hizumi wanted to leave. The spring breeze drove in from the open window, scattering the cascading curtains in its own rhythmical way.

Ayumu pointed to his head. "You were thinking," he stated bluntly. "That in itself is dangerous for you. So don't do it. It freaks me out."

It took a moment for the point to drive home, and Hizumi immediately pushed himself up with his legs in an exaggerated fashion. "Are you implying that I'm stupid?" He asked, carefully wording his sentence so that Ayumu could not throw it back at him like he usually did with his snippy, yet effective words.

The brunette seemed to pause for a moment to look outside, seeing the Track team from where he was sitting. He watched Ryouko run a little before he turned his head back to Hizumi, giving the green-haired male his full attention. "No, I'm not saying you're stupid per say...but you do have some level of ignorance that sometimes gets you in trouble with that girl, Tsuchiya, and I..." He trailed off to press a finger to his chin, going into thought and pulling his brows together in that way from before.

He was traveling to the one place Hizumi did not need him to to be.

And so the golden eyed devil stomped his foot and crossed his arms over his chest, lips pulling themselves into a full blown pout. "That's not a very nice thing to say," he muttered unhappily.

The detective's younger brother snapped back at that and shrugged indifferently, looking back out the window at nothing in particular, then glancing up at the sky with half interest. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly the nicest person to be around," he dead panned before wandering off into his own little world.

A world that Hizumi thought --_no, he **knew**--_ he was not going to be included in.

Before he knew it, or could even stop himself, Hizumi had reached his hands out and grasped one of his other half's arms, tugging it slightly to bring Ayumu back. Hanging on as if it were a life line.

Ayumu turned back to Hizumi and, upon seeing his worried gaze, smiled briefly. "Hey, what's that look for?" He asked as he reached his other hand up to rub the top of Hizumi's head, threading through the minty spikes unconsciously.

_Don't go anywhere but here._

_--_

[(_Newborn life replacing us all, changing this fable we live in. No longer needed here, so where do we go? Will you take a journey tonight, follow me passed the walls of death? But girl, what if there is no eternal life?_)]

When Hizumi left, he expected Ayumu to follow.

He expected Ayumu to abandon everything, turn tail, and run for him...

...and that was exactly what he did.

However, there was something that never calculated right in Hizumi's mind, something he overlooked.

Kirie had told Ayumu about him before hand, so had Ayumu been thinking about him even before he decided to show up and move in with his other? Had Ayumu already made his decision about life, and what exactly he was going to do about his despair? Was Ayumu already in possession of the knowledge that Hizumi held?

Would Ayumu hesitate to kill him?

Or, would Ayumu join him?

Or...was Ayumu planning something different all along?

Would Ayumu come to him and submit; save him from his darkness and despair?

Those were the simple things; the simple thoughts that ran through his mind when he found himself looking through a telescope on a high floor in Tokyo Tower. He had the entire floor reserved for only he and Ayumu. It was their own little sanctuary for the day, and he was going to make sure Ayumu would stay with him. He would not lose him light. If he lost Ayumu, he was unsure whether that last shred of sanity he had left would leave him or corrupt.

Even so, Hizumi at least found comfort when he spotted a lithe body making its way through the crowds in front of the tower, brown hair a mess. _Had he gotten into a fight?_ The green-haired individual was unsure he wanted to know.

He knew that Ayumu knew the world was not full of light.

There would only be darkness where the Devil and God were heading; where Adam and Eve joined and descended.

It was going to be Ayumu's decision whether or not they would ascend and follow Hizumi; whether he would be together with him or die in the despair linked to their darkness. The kind of darkness that swallowed not only someone's heart, but their very soul and being as time passes.

Hizumi feared it.

--

[(_Trials in life, questions of us existing here. Don't wanna die alone without you here. Please tell me what we have is real._)]

On the way to the tower, Ayumu found himself wandering to that place in the middle of his conscious where every little piece of information was held. He wanted to know what else there was to his life, why he was living; why humans in general were living. He wanted to know why life had to suck so bad to pit him against the only person who understood him; as annoyingly obnoxious and bitter as he was, Hizumi still understood; and he still smiled for Ayumu, no matter what was going on or what kind of dinner they were having that night.

It was something not many people took time out to do anymore.

People jumped to conclusions and got themselves killed for such arrogance in certain cases. Much like World War II, people react on blind ignorance, a blank feeling in the pit of their stomachs that tells them to move their asses or their going to die. It was the entire reason why war existed; to see which feeling was the strongest. There was no other real reason for war; at least that was what he thought.

And now he was going to have to use his own blind emotions, the butterflies in his stomach, and his trembling hands to put some sense back into the other side of the coin.

It was not adding up; what was Hizumi aiming for? Surely he was not expecting Ayumu to kill him. No, Ayumu was not strong enough for that. His moral values and emotions--the ones he kept just below the surface in his subconscious--would not allow such dubious activity to take place without a concrete reason (and Kanon's death was not reason enough for Ayumu to kill the only person he loved).

For just a moment, though, he paused and took the time to consider that thought.

Was it love he was feeling? It had to be; he used to feel it around Madoka, and he was sure he was beginning to feel such a thing for even Hiyono before Hizumi came along. It was some kind of affection he only had for Hizumi, that crazy, beautiful kid who stayed with him for two weeks. The kid he tolerated under dire circumstances. The only person who accepted even his worst moods, and yet at the same time brought him out of them.

He was sure that if he joined Hizumi they would have so much fun. They would live and have their "happily ever after".

But that would come at a price...

_The Blade Children..._

Ayumu would not betray them.

But what about Hizumi?

They would have to see how real they were.

--

[(_So what if I never hold you? Or kiss your lips again? So I never want to leave you in the memories of us I seen; I beg don't leave me._)]

Hizumi yawned long and hard, propping his legs up on his bed as he placed his back against the floor and stared at the ceiling upside down.

If this was the doctor's idea of _fun_, he would have to have that man sued and committed to the psych ward.

He decided to take his time to ponder the thought of black, white, and Ayumu. It was annoying, but it would pass time until Ayumu hobbled his way to his room to play video gamed with him. For some reason, he just could not pass that damned level with that regal blue wolf called Shun. It was frustrating.

The devil had learned the hard way that the darkness was vast and stifling to be in when alone. And, in the end, it only served to twist him further as the years passed him by. Hoep turned into despair, and aspiration into jealousy.

It was true.

The world they lived in was most definitely not enveloped in the light. And yet, there was more to it than that. The world was more than darkness. It was not only "black" and "white".

Even after his "accident", Ayumu came back to Hizumi.

He was staying by his side. He didn't mind being with him. He listened to what Hizumi had to say, and never got fed up with it all. He listened to whatever Hizumi had decided to complain about that day, and sometimes he looked frustrated, but he would always smile. He would always accept him wholly and completely. That made him happy; it made Hizumi feel at peace whenever he was with Ayumu. He could have wished for the world to have come to an end and Ayumu would be okay with it.

He found someone who lived on the same level as him; the boy that the person he hated the most told him about. He finally needed someone, and that someone needed him in return. He didn't just sleep and receive anymore; he was giving something only he could give to Ayumu Narumi. Hizumi was being fueled by the many awkward kindnesses and all the gentle warmth Ayumu gave to him day by day.

Hizumi decided that he wanted to start walking again.

He didn't want to lose to the darkness anymore. He wanted to move forward with his life and not be eaten by despair. He wanted to believe in Ayumu and not waste what he had.

The devil was not giving up. Really, he sucked real bad at giving up because he knew and admitted that he was a greedy "human being". But he wanted to find his own proof while being guided by the gentle, warm light that Ayumu was using to bring him back to his life and happiness.

Hizumi already knew how badly he loved Ayumu.

"Uh oh...do I have something I need to worry about again?" A mockingly low tone of voice asked from the door, sounding as if it were going to laugh if given twenty more seconds.

The minty haired male was startled by the addition of a body in the room, and as the door to his hospital room closed he fumbled on to the floor and slowly scrambled to peek over the bed from the other side to see who it was, even though he could already tell who it was from the tone of voice. His golden eyes lit up brightly as Hizumi jumped to his feet and practically hopped over the bed to get to that lithe form whose left arm was hanging limply at the person's side.

"Ayumu!" He chirped loudly, enveloping the other male in a tight embrace, nearly knocking him over from the sheer force of his hug.

Aforementioned brunette stumbled against the wall and chuckled, bracing his right arm against the crutch and reaching out to pet the green mess of hair leaning over and nuzzling him. "You sound happy to see me," he said as Hizumi purred and nudged his head further into his hand, wanting to be petted more.

"Mm hm...I'm always happy to see you," Hizumi slurred out.

His mind suddenly drifted to the game and Hizumi found himself grabbing Ayumu's functioning arm and dragging him over to the bed and game console. "Ah, you have to help me with this! I can't beat Shun this time around!"

Ayumu smiled. "Yeah...I know."

Hizumi broke out into a widespread grin.

_I love this person. I love this wonderfully created being; this perfect guy. I love him._

_--_

...? This is, um...totally not long. Longer than I wanted and expected maybe...que sera sera, I suppose. xD It probably sucked anyway. --Zexion


End file.
